imagine getting a tattoo and then hearing the tattoo artist going like “oops”
"i was born in the wrong century," the girl sighs as she imagines a future where women have full ownership of their own bodies
It’s National Annoy Squidward day
So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?
ok, why the fuck is the graph upside down. that is incredibly misleading
Because its from the Florida Department of Justice, and they have a mandate here.
for those who have trouble inverting it in their head, ftfy:
this is some of the most blatant twisting of info i have ever seen holy shit
why the hell did we all learn the exact words
"the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"
the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
people born in december 1999 be like i miss the 90’s
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
someones mom: make yourself at home, would you like something to drink?
me: *very dry mouth like spongebob in sandy’s tree dome*
me: no thank you
why is it that everyone can be an asshole towards me and that’s perfectly fine but the minute i have had enough and act like an asshole its all of a sudden not okay
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?
Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.
still not exactly sure what studying is
so my cat does this weird thing where she’ll play with something and then all of a sudden she’ll start meowing because everything single time she gets her claw stuck and then she’ll just look at me meowing because she expects me to get her unstuck. every. single. time.